..no, seriously. I can query an Azure cloud based Hive instance of Hadoop from Excel. Its simple stuff.
First step is to install the Hive drivers and Excel add-in. This then gives you a new button on your Excel ribbon:
Clicking this opens up the query pane, which is pretty simple stuff:
Pick your Hive instance, choose the table (in this case just the standard sample table), pick your columns… then scroll down a bit because the pane is a bit long when you expand out the options.
I passed on providing any Criteria (i.e. the WHERE clause), added in some Aggregations, skipped over ordering as I can do that easily enough in Excel, added a 2k row limit.
This spat out some HiveQL (Hive Query language) which I modified slightly to include a count(*). Then click Execute Query, and wait a bit for the Big Data Bees to make my Insights.
I have Hive Data in Excel. I could have put it in PowerPivot if I really wanted to show off…